I was reminded today of what faithfulness means. During my visits as chaplain I see a lot of people and their families. Many people I see are in the last stages of their battle with illnesses such as cancer, heart disease, Aids, and Alzheimer’s. Alzheimer’s is a disease that I see a lot, it is a terrible illness as I am sure that you are aware. It can be heartbreaking to speak with families that detail how their loved one slipped into death one memory at a time. I can’t even imagine how painful it must be to look at your loved one and that person has no recollection of who you are or your relationship with them. As many of the Alzheimer’s patients progress in their illness and need 24 hour nursing care many family members visit less and some stop coming at all. I say that without judgment, people handle their grief in a variety of ways.
It is rare that I see a family member visit a nursing home patient daily much less if that patient has Alzheimer’s. Indeed today was a rare day. I had the pleasure of meeting someone who we will call Bob. I had come to visit a new patient in a nursing facility a patient who had a diagnosis of Alzheimer’s and when I arrived I was surprised to see that she had a visitor. That visitor turned out to be her husband Bob. As I was walking in the door Bob was pushing his wife out the door in her wheel chair. Bob looked to be in his early 80's and his wife was about the same age. I told Bob that I did not want to disturb them if they were off to an appointment, it is not unusual for patients to leave the facility for doctor appointments or other needs. Bob said no that they were just on their afternoon stroll and that I was welcome to join them. As we walked Bob told me that he and his wife had been married 60 years and that they had run a local market together for most all of their career. I heard about the pain of seeing his wife slip away as her disease progressed and the struggle that he had when he knew it was time that she leave their home and move to a facility where she could receive constant care.
As we walked the patient looked ahead and around as if she was taking in her surroundings for the first time. She was content taking her afternoon stroll. I found out that this was one of many afternoon strolls; in fact it is a daily event. Bob gets up every morning comes to the nursing facility and sits with his wife that can’t even speak his name. He sits with her all day he helps feed her puree meals since she can no longer eat solid foods. He sits and watches her as she reaches in front of her for something that is not there because the reaching reflex is one of the few functions that she has left. He sits with her and he takes her for her afternoon stroll. As the stroll continued we turned a corner and headed for the dinning room. The dining room was empty except for a few of the workers who were preparing for dinner. They all greeted Bob as we rounded the corner and they scurried to gather a few items from the cabinet. They knew that Bob would need them because a part of the afternoon stroll was the patient's afternoon snack. Bob told me that he always brought his wife a snack as he pulled a folded brown lunch bag from his back pocket. He said she loves chocolate pudding and sweet tea. He went on to explain that the tea was actually pureed thick because she could not tolerate thin liquids due the fact that she can’t swallow very good and that the thin liquids would aspirate in her lungs. She could tolerate pudding and the thickened sweet tea. I was amazed as I watched Bob with such tenderness place the cloth bib around her neck and secure it behind her head. He prepared the tea and pudding with such efficiency and care that it resembled the art of a fine chef. Then Bob began to feed his wife. The patient continued to reach into the air at nothing and Bob waited. Bob had such patience as he fed his wife; he never once was flustered by her reaching he never once tired as she struggled.
She did not know Bob from anyone else but Bob knew her and that was what mattered. He knew their story and he told me that story as he fed his wife. A story about how they had worked side by side everyday in their market. How they had raised their daughter and the joy they shared in their grandchildren. He shared the story about how their faith had sustained and nurtured them. As he relayed their story to me the large empty room filled with warmth and the feeling of God's presence. I was moved to tears as I witnessed such faithfulness and love in Bob's care for his wife.
I remember that passage in the gospel of Luke where the two downtrodden followers of Jesus were on their way to Emmaus after Jesus' crucifixion. On this journey they encountered a stranger who asked them why they were so sad. You know the story, the stranger continues on the journey with them and it is not until they break bread together at the table that it is revealed to them that indeed the stranger is the risen Lord.
I had my own revelation today. I saw today a living walking example of faithfulness and the power of God, the power of God that was represented in unwavering love. I was a long way away from Emmaus and there was no bread to break but I will never be the same after having had the afternoon stroll and the pudding and the puree thick tea. Sitting in the empty dinning room watching Bob fed his wife felt like the holiest communion. Indeed Christ was revealed to me, reminding me that faithfulness and love come from on high and indeed the risen Lord is faithful to us.
My Thanksgiving consists of visiting family in Memphis and I am seeing some of the sites in the delta town. Today's entry is a tribute to Dr. King. I spent this afternoon at the Lorraine motel, which now is the Civil Rights Museum where Dr. King was assassinated in April of 1968. This was a somber experience. I have posted some pics from today. I was glad I could pay tribute to a hero, a man who knew what it meant to integrate his faith into his life.
